New Year, New Fears
New Year NewsIt's so easy to focus on the negative, between reading the news or even multiple FB posts. It's hard not to get consumed in everything that can, will, might, could, should, shall go wrong. Even with the abundance of the new prospects of the New Year, the negative stuff just seems to take over. I don't really consider the New Year a new start more like a rejuvenated continuation or a new bolt of energy. But I have to admit in this new year, the WHOLE ten days, I've spent most of those days stressing, anxious and just over all worrying over any and every thing, yes I know I said I'm trying to do better but old habits take time to die. Yesterday morning I purposely recounted one of the biggest blessings I was given last year, on my drive to work, every intimate detail. I did this cause I could literally feel myself falling into a pit of despair, for no real reason at all. And as I started thinking about I wondered how I could doubted that God was moving in my life. And it helped give me something to smile about.
I’m 30 weeks…w00t!! Not sure if time is flying or dragging. Some days it’s a little of both. Honestly it kind of feels like an out of body experiences sometimes. I still can’t believe, quite honestly I don’t think I’ve even grasped it yet. It never seems like the right time to panic though. So I just truck along. I’ve been forcing myself to get knee deep in baby stuff, I’ve kind of been avoiding. You see here’s the thing I get anxious when I start to plan for things especially big things, so I put them off. I think it’s mostly excitement, but I procrastinate. When it came to my wedding I didn’t start looking for bridesmaids’ dresses until April for a wedding in August. The girls’ had to order that week to be able to get them and get alterations in time for the wedding. So fast forward to this baby, we just cleaned out the room and put up a crib. This was a huge deal; it only made sense because we were both off work for the holidays.
I opted to buy a cheaper crib after deciding on an expensive once because I felt like it was a better financial decision and quite frankly because it’s a tiny baby, they can sleep anywhere. And for the first 3 months at least that will probably mean right next to me. Plus having limited space, just didn’t make much sense to get something too big. We’ll save that for later.
Other than that things are going well. Looking forward the new year, and especially, March 2014!