I'm blogging for the sake of blogging, is there any better reason anyway? And I've been encouraging a lot of people to blog recently. In my experience it is such a freeing experience. It just gives me the chance to get stuff out there and off your chest. It also helps me organize my thoughts, which trust me, the mind of a genius is hard to organize (LOL). I find that is keeps me connected to where I am in life...it's basically an online journal. And I am a journaling freak, so I love it. That's one thing I love to do journal, I have a ton of them. I make it a habit to go back and read old blog posts and journals. I like to see where I was compared to where I am, in hopes that I have advanced. Sometimes the growth is quite surprising. However, I do realize that blogging and journaling takes a lot of discipline, but since it is something I love. It comes naturally. Now that I have gone off on a tangent...lol...Long story short, I love to write. And if you don't have a blog or journal get one and start releasing TODAY!
Next in Jailyn news, 2010 was the year of my personal transformation, tragedy and ultimately, triumph. I blogged in very, very vague detail about some of what was going on, but it was a muffled cry for help not heard/seen by many. And that is ok because the truth is there were so many lessons I needed to learn. Most people don't know how tough last year was for me, I was having a TON of issues. I shared with less than a hand full of people. I tried to talk to people about what was going on, but so many times it never went over well or I just didn't feel comfortable enough to tell people. Mainly for the fear of being judged or being dismissed. I kept most of how I felt bottled up with slight overflowings here and there. I prayed daily for a better support system to help me along. Recently, the Lord has allowed some people in my life to open up to me and helped me realize that I am not alone. I have found a good support system of people who I can finally release too. At first I was thinking, where were these people when I needed them? Ugh! However the more I thought about it the more I realized that the Lord needed me to take that time to lean on Him. I had lost that feeling that He was in control because i was so out of control. I am restoring the joy that i had lost, a continuous process as always, but a rewarding one. In building these new relationships I have realized the flaws that I have now in my current and prior friendships. I have developed some bad habits; my hope is that theses do not hinder my ability to be a great friend.
Ultimately, my goal for this year is to create a path to get to happy contentment... strange I know, but bare with me. We spend so much of our lives chasing people, dreams and goals. Is this really what is going to make us happy? Perhaps my path to happiness involves more of an internal acceptance than the things I seek. Right now, today, my path consists of me relaxing on the start of the weekend. It also consists of me taking note of a HUGE blessing the Lord has seen fit to grant me with. There are so many things that keep me off the path of happiness, but this year will be different by God's grace. The plan is too be more focused and driven to make staying on the path my number #1 goal. Wish me luck and hope to see you along the way...