Life is Not a Movie...

So, I've been compared to Joan (Tracee Ellis-Ross) off of Girlfriends, Khadjiah (Queen Latifah) of Living Single, I don't mind cause they are the 'alpha-females' in their groups. They are the strong, successful, and wise ones that others depend on. I love Joan, she's quirky and she loves holidays (as do I), and Khadijah, so cool and determined. These women I can identify with. Don't get me wrong they had their issues. One being that they are dedicated and loyal to their friends, at times so much their issues go unnoticed by those around them. I can relate to that, but never viewed it as an issue until now, sort of...

Today, I was compared with Patricia 'Patty' (Janet Jackson) from Why Did I Get Married Too? This is the first time I had been compared from the negative side, so needless to say I was less than accepting of this comparison, but it was funny, and I did appreciate the depth of Janet's character. Perfect Patty was the rock of her friendship with her other three friends. She gave solid advice, was successful and most importantly she was there for her friends when they needed her. As most of you know, if you have seen it, she loses it in the end...completely blows her top...breaking stuff, smoking, drinking..she's off...really off and unstable (lol!). Now would be the time to ask, "are you on the verge of losing it?" Lol, I don't think so. However, I can totally understand why those around me would think that I resemble her. Although the one big question I must ask is, "were her friends really there for her?" Do you think she felt comfortable laying her issues on them after what she knew about them? Did she feel comfortable to share with them? Sometimes one person's friendship is more beneficial to the other. Seems to me in the movie her friends were more consumed with what was going on with them, most of the time, that they rarely tried to see if she needed help until it was too late. We all got issues and problems if you look closely, you usually can see them. There are people who keep their issues/problems under wraps, but slowly they start to burst at the seams. Things kept in the dark are never kept there for long.

I did some blogs earlier about how/why I don't share as much and about friendships but here is a brief recap: I talk to very few people because I feel very few people would understand or care to understand my problems/issues. I talk to my husband because as of August 10, 2008 he became my best friend, and I feel the need to rely on him a lot as my life partner. I blog more than talk because sometimes just getting stuff out in black and white makes things much clearer to me, it organizes the chaos in my head. I talk to myself because sometimes things should be kept close. I talk to God cause he's always got my back and I never have to worry about him judging me. The fact of the matter is the older you get the less you share because the more you feel you know or recognize you can handle things on your own. I don't want to become of one of those old cynical people, pessimistic about love, life and relationships, but I have to be careful with whom I share. I have to know the person has my best interest in mind, that they care, that they will not share the information I give and that they have a vested interest in me. I just want to feel 'safe' when I share and I rarely feel that, so I rarely share. But most of us have come to a point in life where we don't share as much, we don't need each other as much, and I think that's ok at least for now.

All this realization had made me that see that there is always room for improvement. I am not perfect and I actually appreciate the "callout." I Hope I never lose it like that, but if I do at least someone 'told me so.' :)
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