Dating (with Purpose)

So dating is a necessary evil for most, but it doesn't have to be a complete waste of time. And at times it can be completely worth it. At first I thought I didn't have much authority to write about this, but then I realized I have more than I think. So here is apart of my opinion in a nutshell. Any further questions can be asked directly at any point in time. :)

Jailyn's Dating Commandments

I. Don't date outside your league.
II. Don't put yourself on a timeline.
III. Do be upfront about your intentions.
IV. Do remember all relationships require some sort of compromise.
V. Do remember no one is without flaws.
VI. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.
VII. Do understand that no relationship is perfect.
VIII. Don't be afraid to make you own rules.
IX. Do take your time, true happiness can not be rushed.
X. Don’t ever settle…you only cheat yourself.

Are you more afraid of being alone or being with the wrong person...that is the question to answer.

If your answer is being with the wrong person, as it should be, you should date like so. This means not settling, not putting yourself on a timeline, and not dating for the heck of it, etc. Date with purpose…always date with the end result in mind. If your end result is marriage then only date those who are worthy of your time in that respect. Dating frivolously, aka causal dating, will cause some confusion and may make you believe that the wrong person is the right without purpose causes you to waste time and loose focus. Why date someone who does not share the same end goal as you? This is a pointless feat which usually only ends in emotional tragedy...I am not saying not to go on dates, I'm saying evaluate the potential dater with a personal scale of dating tolerance. See if they pass the test early, so you don't fail the final later.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with causal dating, to each his own, just don't expect much from causal dating. If you are causally dating then understand that the very nature of causal dating does not leave much room for finding 'the one.'It’s causal for that purpose, no strings attached and all that jazz. And if that is all you are looking for drink up and's your life you can have your cake and eat it too.

The first thing to do to avoid frivolous dating make you intentions known upfront once dating picks up. It's never too soon to see where a relationship is headed, it's ok to ask and discuss and very necessary. Next, listen to what the other person's intentions are...if they're intentions don't parallel yours don't waste you time or theirs. In the end it is what it is and it will be what it will be. Next, don't fall victim to substitute dating, thinking you can change someone. A substitute is never as good as the real thing.

Understand that most times you are the problem...since most times you are the common denominator. This is NOT a bad thing. This happens when you date out you league or when you try to settle. This happens sometimes when your answer to the question above is fear of being alone rather than fear of being with the wrong person. If you date someone outside of your rim of expectations expect to be disappointed. Always heed the red flags and test the string. The red flags are things that say (SCREAM) 'this is not right' and the strings are tied to a person's feelings, beliefs, issues, situations, etc. see how long those strings are and what they are attached too before you sign up for something you never intended to.

Dating like you afraid to be with the wrong person is tough. It requires you to forsake some of the feelings that trap you in your fear of being alone. Staying focus of the task at hand and remembering that a little 'aloneness' now can save you some heartache later. I understand that anomalies are to be expected...but carefully consider potential dates and require out of them what you want.

Know that patience, in dating, is a viture only attained by a few, and to them is given the greatest reward...CONTENTMENT