What I learned after being married 1 year, 5 months, 10 days and counting

I wasn't sure how to start this blog off, since I'd be talking about marriage. Guess I'll just say it's a gift from God to be appreciated and acknowledged for what it is. Anita Baker was onto something in her song Fairy Tale, when she says she wasn't told the truth about love and the consquences of it. Love and marriage are anything but easy, however, they can still be some of the best things ever.

The thing I will mention is marriage is not a quick fix to any problem. Loneliness...finding a sense of purpose...power advancement...I have been married for 1 year, 5 months, 10 days nothing compared to my parents 30 years in June. But I have still learned a couple things in my time being married. Marriage is not a fairy tale and it does not fix anything, and if a relationship is broke all marriage leave it broken. Marriage without careful consideration does nothing but create a catastrophe out of a disaster. Here are the basics I've learned:

- Two people living together under one roof will usually have some sort of disagreements...it's not the end of the world. Learn to work though them. Separation/Divorce is only an option if you make it one.

- Always talk to your spouse, if you can't be totally honest (vulnerable) with them. Who can you be honest with then? Build up your communication.

- Just because someone is married doesn't mean their life is perfect. Marriage is not the recipe for a perfect life. As a matter of fact I think it's just the opposite.

- Marriage is full of lessons if you are willing to learn: humility, service, sacrifice, unconditional love, patience, long-suffering, honesty, truth, healing, selflessness (that's a hard one), and the list only continues

-vMarriage can teach you a thing or two about yourself...

- Marriage does not remove the need for friends nor does it replace my friends. Just because I have a husband doesn't mean I don't need friends. This one always gets me...*sigh* I still need friends.

- Your wish should be for marriage to come when your really ready and not just when you think you're ready. If your not ready it makes the lessons above harder to learn.

- Sacrifice in marriage is not avoidable if you truly want a lasting relationship.

- Regardless what anyone tells you marriage is rarely 50/50 sometimes it's 70/30, 90/10, 110/0, 40/60. The important thing to remember is it's about give and take and most importantly sacrifice.

- In the end marriage is about happy contentment, it's ultimately about being with someone you can't stand to be without. :)
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