True Friendship: Branching Out only to be caught in the middle

***This is a rough draft of my thoughts***

So recently I have come to the conclusion that I will eventually have to make new friends and acquaintances. This is not such a bad thing, and hopefully some day soon I will truly embrace it. Right now it's just a nuisance like listening to a coworker useless banter about their weekend festivities. Making new friends to me is just one of life's little annoyances that can eventually work in your favor, and hopefully this time it will come to me without the drama.

If I could sum up how I feel now about life, love and relationships....I would pin it as seasonally refreshed. Mature enough to realize change comes and adult enough to know I must accept that change. And real enough to know things aren't always what they seem. Though lately I feel like I've been caught middle of things that are not what they seem. This is important to note because I've been trying to branch out. But being caught in the middle of fantasy and reality is a tricky place. Figuring out where to draw the line is probably the hardest thing to do.

When is too much enough? How much is too much? How much is too little? When is a little not enough? When is enough not enough? I think I have most about being caught in the middle is walking on eggshells. Pretending to be slightly unaware of my surroundings...being caught in the middle creates tension. Tension creates the opposite of comfortable leaving me very uncomfortable.

I hate being caught in the middle, not knowing the right thing to say or do. Feeling lost throughout the entire situation. Not being able to intelligently weigh in on the situation. Not carrying enough stakes in the situation to make a difference, but not able to stay out of it because of the stakes I hold.

Until next time...embracing it all in love, life and contentment...
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