The beauty of lost perspective

At my first baby shower, people quickly started giving me advice. This has continued on and I imagine will indefinitely. People have a wealth of knowledge, and they're just itching to share. Who cares if you don't want it or need it, it needs to be shared. Most are just annoying helpful suggestions, so you smile and endure. But then some are intrusive quips meant to demean and shame your parenting choices. These...these get under my skin. Mostly because they're given by people who have lost perspective, i/e my parents and/or in-laws. Indulge me for a moment while I vent.

My parents and in-laws are done raising children, and frankly, they've lost perspective. It's not their fault, in fact, it's a celebration for them. They've been able to forget most of the hard stuff and replace it with good memories.  Memories of my husband and his brother at 2 and 3 sitting undisturbed in a restaurant while they wait for their food. Memories of toddlers sitting quietly in church service that lasted 3+ hours. Memories of non-drooling teething babies, unbothered preschoolers that only speak when spoken too, walking 6 month old babies, blah blah blah. Give. me. a. break. Sometimes I sit back and listen to these fables like they are being told to me by Mother Goose herself. I mean seriously people at least make it something believable.

I find it hard to believe that someone with 2 small children doesn't remember being overwhelmed, frustrated, tired. There is no way having 2 toddlers didn't give you some form of pause. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, which is extremely possible, but I call BS on your rose-colored memories. Now I will say this, my in-laws did raise a stand-up guy, and they should be commended. But let them tell it, this boy genius did no wrong (maybe I broke!).

My biggest issue with these sage "advice" is that it is void of reality. As mentioned lost perspective means a lost reality. The problem is I can't believe what you are saying because it happened long enough ago no one can really verify it's validity. And it's easy to romanticize now because the hard part is over. My parents and in-laws have a wealth of knowledge, but it's all being tunneled and filtered through 30+ years of experience.

In all honesty, I don't mind the advice, but make it personal. Try to remember this is new to me, I don't know what I am doing, but neither did you initially. Be sympathetic to the my needs as a mom. Motherhood is just as tough as it was back then as it is now.