Totally Freaking Out

So I'm sitting in my car doing this blog entry cause Josi is sleep. And rather than move her carseat and risk waking her I decided to sit in the car and get some things done.

So yesterday I hit a wall. I've been trying to stay positive and keep a stiff upper lip. But yesterday I was beat. Which I didn't realize until I was waking through Costco. My body was dragging and I had to admit it, I was tired. So instead of cleaning up last night as I had planned I sat...and watched TV. My dad is coming in town and I'd like to have things looking decent, at least. But I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything last night. I just wanted enough energy and time to sweep and clean the bathroom. Ugh!

To add to my issues, I haven't gone to the gym since Friday. For those like me keeping count that's 5 days. So here's the deal with that...I'm tired. I know it's a lame excuse but it's all I got. I feel bad for not going. Especially because we're paying for it. And being on one income makes me more conscious of the way we spend money. So I feel motivated by that fact alone to go. But again I'm tired. You see I've been trying to go in the morning at 5 am as to not worry about Josi in the daycare. It's starting to get cold and people are getting sick and I'm trying to avoid that like the plague. So I avoid taking her around sick people which seems to be running through the gym daycare, eek! Makes me cringe just thinking about it. Keep your sick kids home, and your sick tail home with them. Anywho, so going in the morning was working until Josi changed her schedule. So there's that, and the fact that I've lost my drive. I want to do better, but I'm not motivated. And the thing that sucks is I've done this before. Two years ago I lost over 40 pounds with modified diet and exercise. Then I was motivated, I had some ups and downs but I was a machine. I can't seem to get to that place at this moment. *eyeroll*

She's close to waking up, so I'll end here. Good thing I did she just opened her eyes. :-)